so i worked all day today. i'm really sunburned.
i feel like i can never do anything correctly. i march to the beat of my own drum, and am pretty chill about things a lot of the time, but i do know how to do my job and like to do it honestly. today there was an issue with my pool being over by a dollar. i didn't even think about writing it down, because i honestly just thought i must have gotten an extra dollar when i got change yesterday. i didn't take it, because that would have been stealing, but i forgot about it and when it came time for the closing person to count everything up, i felt really bad when their cash report was wrong. and i should have because i just was stupid and messed it up for them. i did what i could to fix my mistake, but the point is that i made it. i'm so flustered because i try so hard not to make these stupid little common sense errors, but always seem to make them somewhere else. i hate it. i don't know why i do it, but it's really frustrating because i feel that most of my bosses don't think i do a good job as it is. i work extremely hard and i feel like it doesn't show because of my mishaps that i bring upon myself. ugh. so frustrating! i wish i had been given a better pool supervisor last year so i wouldn't be having to break all the bad habits i learned from him this year.
i just don't feel like i fit in here. i never really did. and it's even worse now that i'm back and separated from so many of my friends that love me just the way i am. i wish that i fit in with people from work so that work would be more enjoyable, but i guess i don't and all i can say is that i hope God brings something better along for me next summer.